melancholy

Many of us are very good at burning bridges and spend our lives regretting,  blaming and most cruel of all doubting our own imperative to do so.

My ultra religious online friend shared this, (she actually does study a particular ancient bible) and it touched me for it’s innate wit and depth to reach right to my core.  Beyond mental never ending analysis, the perpetual should I, should I not, to the place that is almost biblical.

Us stubborn folk do burn bridges. And we often do it from a place of hurt or arrogance.
It can be that momentary Fuck you, that often pretends it is independence, but often it becomes yet another fragile regret. That feisty, fickle I have this handled, actually, might be 100% clarity just a little wrapped up with our manicured, presentable ego running the show.

What if our torched path had to be this way and not another way?  What if this is our gift?  And not our feared reckless unknown shadow self?  But instead a  very real,  tender aspect that kindly teaches us to say No.

Those bridges were steadfast at a particular time we hoped to get from a to b. They did their job absolutely with impeccable sincerity then. We hang on to those amazing lifelines, those bridges that offered hope, and security back when we were in very different territory to where we find ourselves today.

What if we face that our truth guides us and always has done so? What if, “we call off the search” to quote a good number of sages that beg us to do so?

I think it really is time for us all,  to let out that laughter that we have stuffed back inside ourselves for far too long.  It is time to take even our most solemn woe and throw into the crucible. It is hot in there. We can allow that fire turn to dust our fears and frights.

I am really starting to accept all those that insist, let life be really about now and not then.  There are a zillion thoughts, ideas about which we have no possible fears,  anticipation or certainty simply because they have not happened yet.

Life is not always easy.

We live in crazy times,  watching global events pull at our hearts daily.  Financial chaos at the macro and micro level are real enough.  Loss happens to fabulous people and so it goes.

Personally, I have one guiding reminder that I live by: Keep going.  It seems to be working out that way, and some days I squirm and resist my own discomfort, and other times, ease into the day, the life that I am actually inhabiting, and generally it is what it is.

It is going to take a tremendous determination to walk towards,  dance with,  trust fully that light. And that friends, that we are given quite freely, without religion, often without faith, definitely without cost, I would say is Grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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