Gas-lighting is real.
It is so damn real.
It is so.
It extinguishes the right to feel your own feelings, honour your own perceptions, tell your own story, live your own being.
The whole point of gas-lighting is to say, “it is your imagination”, or to confirm that “it is NOT so”.
To eradicate, to minimalise, to deny that the other perspective exists. Smudge, blur, distort, erase, refute, reject the very who and what Another is trying to say, or be.
I think a lot of this stuff is “too psychological” for people to grasp! That in itself makes it easy to ignore, and even easier to gaslight!
I have this interesting non psychological analogy I am trying to grasp.
In say, Art, of the History of Art, of the practice of Art, (Design etc) the artist is really now required by Art School, galleries, the whole edifice of Art debate, aesthetics and even cultural practice, is about process. Where did the Artist begin, where are they going, how are they moving thru time, how is their art changing, developing in relation to the life lived.
That seems so obvious and not easily rejected. As a model, process is now very common in all sorts of workplaces, peer review, performance evaluations, etc. Not saying I favour all peer reviews, or performance evaluations, but they do exist.
Students now are seldom marked just on their work, end result. The teacher has to go wider, and see, how has the student developed all round. Can they join in the class, do they ask relevant questions, are they learning the subject, rather than just a mark based on a final essay, or artwork.
So, in these many circumstances, process is accepted as a perfectly natural resolution to the old rote learning, end result pass or fail.
Mostly we are quite okay with it, and do not dismiss it as a stupid, unnecessary, psychological, irrelevant, hysterical, emotional theory.
When we discuss things like gas-lighting, it is very likely exactly what will happen is a form of gas-lighting. Oh, that is stupid, irrelevant, psychological, blah blah and it is absolutely not heeded!
Ho Hum! The imperfect catch 22.
May we all grow strong. May we all shine a light on these aspects of ourselves where there is confusion. May we build others up if we can. May we walk tall, open our hearts to all that has arisen. May we soften when there has been perceived wrong doing. May we find grace to know ourselves and know what brings us peace. May we see confusion as a teacher, and may we dance with a little freedom and joy whilst we continue to learn our lessons!